Alright, let's put aside any insinuations of sexist undercurrents for a bit, decant some goodberry wine, share a slice of blue-veined cheese, pet our owlbears, hamsters, doggos and Abdiraks and take a deep breath.
It might be that the issue here is not one of taste, but of focus. Larian has released an EA full of rich, conflicted characters who do not fit any comfortable molds, much like their version of D&D and D&D mechanics is close to, but not exactly like what veteran players were expecting. They have also tried to replicate a situation where abducted strangers are forced to work together to survive, regardless of their personal motivations. And, most importantly, they have given the player the tools to explore and advance their relationship with their party members as they like (or not) --either through dialogue, cutscenes, mini-missions or their decisions during basic questing. This mirrors how the player can explore the land of Faerun and battle its foes; there are a million approaches, and you can even skip entire sections.
And, just like Act 1A is unfinished, the romance and relationship paths are not complete. We don't even have all the companions as of yet. And we don't know where they might lead, or even who these companions were before they were taken. Given the situation they are in, and knowing that all your friends can turn into a manipulating mindflayer at any time, wouldn't anyone be a bit off-putting, deffensive and paranoid? I know that I wouldn't want to get too attached, just in case, (Shadowheart) or that I would swing the other way and go all YOLO romping in the woods (Astarion). In the same way that you wouldn't expect a drow battalion to roll over and admit defeat as soon as you entered the Underdark, you shouldn't expect a person you met yesterday to trust you implicitly, particularly if you have the ability to mind-rape them or if they think that you might slaughter them if you suspect them of "changing" -- regardless of their / your gender.
So, in a way, BG3 is doing a pretty good job at presenting the player with a realistic scenario of what a group like this would be. And, in a way, gaining the trust of your companions is a quest in and of itself, albeit one that is going on in the background, a bit like the hidden ending of Silent Hill. Isn't trust that is gained instead of glibly given better than dev-dictated "niceness" for the sake of it? For a game like this, I very much prefer the route that Larian has chosen. It feels meatier and healthier.
On the other hand, I also love some good smexy fantasy time that is easy on the eyes and the mind -- but that's what VNs are for, chock-full of nice ladies, strong men and everything in between and ready to give me the snack that I want when I crave it. It's just that BG3 is not a VN.