Originally Posted by GM4Him

What I am referring to by, "Relationships can be utterly destroyed if people aren't careful with what they watch and what they tempt themselves with," is that sex is like a drug. It is very addictive. It is one of the most powerful drives that a person can have. What you allow into your mind affects you long-term. It is imprinted down deep in your subconscious mind. When you see images of people having sex on TV or in movies or video games or whatever, those images become implanted into your brain. The experiences the characters have in video games and TV and movies and such are pure fantasy, and that pure fantasy becomes people's ideals for romance and sex; ideals others can't live up to.

I'll have to respecfully disagree. I would strongly take distance from the statement that sex, in any kind of normal form (which is highly subjective, but lets go with the average "common sense" here), would be more destructive than any other behavior when handled with moderation.

Originally Posted by GM4Him
1. If you are married or in an relationship, or even if in the future you are in a relationship, you may develop certain expectations, without even realizing it, for your significant other that they don't like and/or that they aren't able to fulfill. Because what you have ingrained into your brain is something unrealistic, it can harm your real experiences. CAN, mind you. It doesn't necessarily mean that it does or will for everyone. Either way, by putting this stuff into your head, you can develop unhealthy behaviors and attitudes towards your significant other. Basically, you put the fantasy on a pedestal that no one can really attain to because this is the kind of thing that excited you in the stuff you've been watching. So, you may even wind up ruining your relationship with your significant other because he/she is not living up to your fantasy expectations. Case in point, some women starve themselves because they are trying to mold themselves into some unrealistic video game woman's image just so they can feel more attractive to men. That's not healthy.

This statement sounds a lot like teeny girls joking around with "Disney gave me unrealistic expectations of men". Most people know what is real, and what is not. Sure - there are *DEFINITELY* cases where individuals have been ruined, in one way or another, from watching too much porn something similar - but that is by far a minority. And - this is problematic with pretty much anything that is overdone, even generally healthy things like exercising.

I'd argue that if we're to see sexual accomplishment in fiction as potential danger, then romantic movies for women should be considered dangerous as well since... Well, just how realistic is it that each and every dude should endure often toxic relationships and literally drop anything in terms of dreams for their girl? That's not healthy - for either part tbh. ESPECIALLY not the entire "you can change the bad guy into a real sweetheart"-perspective - like the last thing there is outright dangerous in the real world - but that does not stop people from making those kinds of movies.

Originally Posted by GM4Him
2. Your spouse/significant other may not like the fact that you are watching or playing those kinds of things. Maybe they do, but maybe they don't. Even if they say they do, they may not truly be okay with it. Some will say they are okay with it, even if they are not, because they are trying to make you happy. But deep down inside, they probably resent it. Why? Because they may feel that you have to fantasize about some video game character or whatever in order to do anything with them. They don't excite you enough, so you need some sort of pixels all put together to form the image of people having sex in order to get excited enough to do something with them. Again, I'm not saying everyone is that way. Some may truly be perfectly fine with it. However, I think it might surprise you to find out how many are not okay with it.

That is a problem that each couple will have to deal with. If you're not grown enough to talk these things through in an honest matter - then I'd doubt you're mature enough for a serious relationship at all. If my SO says something is okay, I am not gonna second guess it unless something seems severely off. We value open communication above all else - I am okay with him watching porn if he feels the need to, and he is okay with me romancing NPCs in a video game (or even romance characters from other players in DnD roleplaying). Honestly - keeping it in BG3, when I didn't want to romance any character on my ranger because they were an ill fit for her - my SO were the one who said "You should totally try the vampire dude though" ...

What I want to say is that In the end - we both know that we are with each other for a reason - and that reason is much stronger than anything related to movies, porn or video games romances. We function in adult life together and we have a lot of hobby things in common. Momentarily seeking refuge to satisfy one's physical or mental needs is not about your partner not being enough but rather just RESPECTING WHEN YOUR PARTNER SAYS NO or when they need their alone-time. Because truth is - in reality, two beings will not always feel like doing the same thing at the same time. We do not always want sex at the same time and we do not always want to cuddle up and be romantic at the same time - this way, one can satisfy ones need when the other one needs a breather. It is a great way to avoid nagging and avoiding guilt-tripping your partner into satisfying your needs - because nagging and guilt-tripping would be a MUCH bigger problem than my SO looking at some boobs or booty for a few minutes. Sure - one could argue that "you could just wait" and sure. One could - but you would still be putting pressure on your partner unintentionally, they would be very much aware of that you're waiting and that could stress them even further. Alternatively - in the long run you could be doing damage to yourself by denying your own mental or physical needs out of respect for your partner. I think we can all agree that neither of those two scenarios could be considered healthy.

Besides - once again - one could easily argue that guys should pull the same argument about all women drooling over actors in romantic series / movies. I mean, have you seen the comment section to some of series that are popular with the ladies? I most certainly have and the pure physical thirst could easily rival the most thirsty parts of the internet.

Originally Posted by GM4Him
3. Some can't control their sexual appetites. The more this stuff is readily accessible to them, the easier it is for them to consume it. But, like many addictions, the more they consume it, the more they need it and the bigger the fix that they need. This CAN, not always, but CAN lead to individuals doing things they shouldn't do; aka sexual crimes. Again, this is not saying that it DOES lead to it. I am just saying it CAN help it along and assist in nudging some people down that path.

Therefore, putting this stuff in games and TV and so forth is playing with fire. Although there are many who can handle it and not do something stupid, there are many who can't. You feed the problem for those who can't handle it, and therefore potentially harm them further and those in their lives.

This world has enough problems with relationships and marriages and divorces and sexual crimes. So, why are we doing things that could potentially make the situation worse as opposed to better?

That is why I don't like sex in games and such. I think it does more harm than good, and frankly, I don't need it. I like romance in games because I think it's sweet and fun and so forth, and it adds a level of emotional connection, but I prefer when games and such "fade to black." You know what happened. You don't need to show me the details. Let the characters have their privacy. Let them have their intimate moment without you watching. lol. As if pixels have intimate moments and need privacy. smile

No. There is absolutely no evidence whatsoever anywhere that porn or any form of sexual content increase the risk of people ACTUALLY committing sexual crimes. This has already been researched during the outrages about GTA years and years ago along with the entire "video games cause violence" rant - and it has, from a scientific point of view, been debunked. You know why? Because regular people can very much tell the difference between reality and fiction. Sex in games and movies does not "do more harm than good" unless you take religious or cultural values into account (which is another debate entirely and not suitable for these forums so I'll keep it biological / super general / functional-human-being-ish). That is an opinion based on nothing but your own personal preference (which is fine and all - we all have preferences and I got slightly horrified when I saw the Minthara romance on YouTube because that sht is very much NOT my cup of tea - but this does not give me the right to go spreading false propaganda about what it might or might not cause people to do - there has already been A LOT of research in the matter and it has been SEVERELY debunked).

Originally Posted by GM4Him
Anyway, all that aside. If they got rid of sex and maybe toned down a bit on the violence and gore, they could make this a Teen game. THAT was actually my overall point. Wouldn't they sell more games by making it more available to a wider audience? Parents who don't like their kids playing games with Sex and Gore might allow them to play BG3 if they got rid of the sex scenes and some of the graphic violence. I honestly am not bothered by the violence level, but whatever. The point is that if they tamed down these things, which aren't really necessary to the story, they could lower the Mature Rating to Teen and thus open the game up to more players. Many parents these days are even willing to let their littlest ones play Teen games if they don't have a lot of swearing and graphic violence and especially sex. So although I'm sure a lot of people on this thread love this stuff, I was thinking Larian could actually get more sales if they tone it down a bit to broaden the audience. I'm not saying tone it town a ton. I'm just saying a bit. It honestly doesn't take much these days to go from Mature to Teen.

Perhaps, but they would definitely lose sales on the adult audience by including content made for teens - because lets be real, most adult find things that teenys like extremely cringe. And right now, CRPGs are more common amongst adults than teens - I would assume, since it is in Larians best interest to make a good amount of sales, that their producers already done the math.

BESIDES - I am really curious about your reasoning. WHY would it be worse to have a "incorrect" picture of sex than having a "incorrect" picture about relationships overall?

You literally say you don't mind romances because they are sweet and all - but at the same time you condemn sex because it fills the player with "unreal expectations". Anybody who have had a relationship can tell you that the vast majority of relationships does not work like relationship in videos games (mainly cause we do not live in an action fantasy world, but yeah...) - why is the idea of sex more harmful to get wrong than the idea of relationships overall? I personally, if I were to start thinking about condemning something for ruining relationships, would turn my gaze to romantic teen series first and foremost (but I wouldn't, because I severely believe that functional human beings can tell the difference between entertainment and real life).

Last edited by Dez; 05/05/21 11:08 PM. Reason: Grammar. Grammar matters :x

Hoot hoot, stranger! Fairly new to CRPGs, but I tried my best to provide some feedback regardless! <3 Read it here: My Open Letter to Larian