The "balance" is not really a problem, people who toggle on/off certain features don't want "balance" to begin with. They want an easy and super-convenient experience.
What's important is for the game to be tuned around a specific experience and have a focused vision of what the standard should be. For instance, battles being manageable with the core rules.
Oh, and at least a modicum effort to make the "hardest settings" still being somewhat doable, even if "super hard modes" in these games more often than not suck ass big time, since they are usually achieved through inane amount of HP bloat and damage buffs to the enemies and require cheesy strategies to come out on top. Not my jam, definitely.
Once that is done, anyone can feel free to cheat their way to comfort. And if they'll start complaining it's "too easy"... Well, they are the ones that chose to disable anything that made the game remotely challenging to begin with, so it will be on them.
I completely agree with you.
People purging exploit mechanics are concerned about the standart experience, because if the game releases with a lot of balance issues, or full of "creative solutions" that doesn't link players to BG or D&D 5, it'll displease D&D 5 fans, and Wizards of the Coast and hurt Larian's sales. If that happens, we can all forget about Baldur's Gate 4, and about seing our characters in epic level.
Nobody cares if Larian makes a menu with "Homebrew Rules" putting all sort of shenanigans there that can be activated or not, or if people want to mod the game according to their preferences.