another point I didnt mention, dialog should start randomly like in bg2, and the music should change when this happens

A sad backstory?
let the music help us feel it, and let the npcs start the interactions dont just put a explanation mark above the companions heads

actually have companions seek the main character out and start speaking to us.

npcs talking in permant loops is emmersion breaking after one loop have the npcs actually talk to us
Or end the argument/conversation and talk about something else