I don't consider the setting of Faerun to be tailored to fit every roleplayer, if it were it would have skills and take social interactions more seriously. It's a heroic adventure game, and heroes can be anyone, if it dealt more with the fantasy societies in a realistic way than I would expect these issues to have satisfying answers. But like I mentioned, because the Forgotten Realms is such a pastiche of tones, genres, cultures and time periods, I don't sweat it too much. But I do think there was a antique mindset in the setting that has become more and more modern with mixed results, for me at least.
Agreed, unfortunately there's no way of pleasing everyone given that people's preferences in some cases just aren't compatible. And you're of course right Faerun has a mishmash of tones and cultures, and from practically the start the setting and the D&D game has been changing and evolving to meet the needs of its players, e.g. in its treatment of male and female characters. I wasn't a D&D fan in the 70s and 80s, but I'll bet there were many of the same debates then about allowing unrealistic portrayals of women in a mediaeval setting, just so that female characters could participate on an equal footing, as we're having about LGBT+ characters now. At least noone is suggesting that the latter should have different stats!
Of course not every roleplayer is going to be comfortable with the changes that are made and some are going to find it a little alienating and perhaps narratively suspect. But many others will also feel
more comfortable, and I hope people will take your attitude and not sweat it too much, given how much it can mean to others to be able to play the characters they want in the way they want. As mentioned before, I'd hate it if I couldn't play a female character in BG3 who didn't have to deal with mediaeval attitudes to women and hopefully most if not all other players will now accept, as a matter of course, that I can. As well as that that there are female characters throughout Faerun doing stuff most women just wouldn't have been able to in mediaeval Europe, and this is no big deal. Perhaps in another few decades people will find it equally as unremarkable to find LGBT+ characters in the setting doing the same. (Well hopefully not as long as that ...)
