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Re: JOKES: PART 2 [Re: Propheet] #130102
29/11/03 04:14 AM
29/11/03 04:14 AM
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Mandrake Offline
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*Warning: Mature audiences only (Which means noone here will read it)*






For the third day running, Mr Benson has rung his boss and said he wont be in for work because he is very sick. His boss is getting a little worried and since Benson lives near him he decides to check on how he is doing on the way home. He goes to knock on the door and is surprised to find it is open, curious he enters and hears noises from the bedroom. Pushing open the door he sees Benson going hammer and tongs with a naked woman. There are sex toys and condoms strewn about and its obvious these two have been at it for some time. The boss is understandably furious and screams "BENSON! I THOUGHT YOU WERE VERY SICK!" to which he replies "I am, she's my mom!".

Ok! You can all draw and quarter me for that one




I will call you "Squishy", and you will be my squishy! OW! BAD SQUISHY! - Dory, Finding Nemo
Re: JOKES: PART 2 [Re: Mandrake] #130103
29/11/03 04:19 AM
29/11/03 04:19 AM
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 64
Halfway to Heaven
Propheet Offline OP
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nice try... LOL
but next time try to make it somehow Div or RR linked...;)


You will have a gun on you; but are not to use it under any circumstances- it's only to strengthen your authority. (EH)
Re: JOKES: PART 2 [Re: Propheet] #130104
29/11/03 09:39 AM
29/11/03 09:39 AM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,911
Exeter, Capital City of devons...
spick Offline
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I see Sopie Ellis-Bexter has been found dead in a Parisean hotel, which was being used by the French national football team, yes, it was "Murder on Zidane's floor".


Drink Up Ye Cider.
Re: JOKES: PART 2 [Re: spick] #130105
29/11/03 04:10 PM
29/11/03 04:10 PM
Joined: Nov 2003
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Propheet Offline OP
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And what does that suppose to mean?? huh???!!!
LOL?!



You will have a gun on you; but are not to use it under any circumstances- it's only to strengthen your authority. (EH)
Re: JOKES: PART 2 [Re: Propheet] #130106
29/11/03 05:57 PM
29/11/03 05:57 PM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 3,295
brokeTM
Draghermosran Offline

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WARNING MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY, NO HATE INTEDED JUST FUN

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A homo couple is having diner at a restaurant, suddenly Rick, the male in the couple says: "John, I have a pain in my anus, can you see if you can feel something?" they go to the restroom and rick unbuttons his pants. John, kneels and put his finger in Rick's anus, "Can't feel anything" he says. "Go deeper" says Rick. So John puts in his hand and sais: "still nothing". "even deeper" replies Rick. Now John puts whole his arm in Rick's anus, "i got something" ... "it's an golden watch???"

"HAPPY ANNAVERSARY!!" yells Rick.





It's one of these days...
Re: JOKES: PART 2 [Re: Draghermosran] #130107
29/11/03 09:24 PM
29/11/03 09:24 PM
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Australia
Mandrake Offline
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Hehe! That was awful! :P

*More warning type stuff*







Q: Two gay couples are living in a block of flats. A pair of men, and a pair of women. When the landlord finds out he kicks them all out. Who gets out first?

A: The gay men, their sh*ts already packed

Q: What do you never say in a gay bar?
A: May I push in your stool?



This has lots to do with DD and RR. Im still thinking of a reason. Get back to me.








I will call you "Squishy", and you will be my squishy! OW! BAD SQUISHY! - Dory, Finding Nemo
Re: JOKES: PART 2 [Re: Mandrake] #130108
29/11/03 09:43 PM
29/11/03 09:43 PM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,911
Exeter, Capital City of devons...
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I like them 2 mandrake...a finger of fudge is just enough


Drink Up Ye Cider.
Re: JOKES: PART 2 [Re: spick] #130109
29/11/03 11:44 PM
29/11/03 11:44 PM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 907
Interpreting Divine Will ; )
Mslynx Offline
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Interpreting Divine Will ; )
I actually knew a guy who packed chocolate fudge for a living! He could never tell people what exactly his job was!


Step away from your senses! Your senses blind you!
Gaming In The Divine

Re: JOKES: PART 2 [Re: Mslynx] #130110
29/11/03 11:54 PM
29/11/03 11:54 PM
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Mandrake Offline
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Hehe! He was the cop in the Village People wasnt he?






I will call you "Squishy", and you will be my squishy! OW! BAD SQUISHY! - Dory, Finding Nemo
Re: JOKES: PART 2 [Re: Mandrake] #130111
30/11/03 03:01 AM
30/11/03 03:01 AM
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Draghermosran Offline

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heres a classic from my childhood:

Have you heard Jan's toilet joke yet?


It's one of these days...
Re: JOKES: PART 2 [Re: Draghermosran] #130112
30/11/03 05:45 AM
30/11/03 05:45 AM
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Mandrake Offline
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Is that the joke? (In which case I dont get it)

Or a we supposed to say "no"




I will call you "Squishy", and you will be my squishy! OW! BAD SQUISHY! - Dory, Finding Nemo
Re: JOKES: PART 2 [Re: Mandrake] #130113
30/11/03 09:00 AM
30/11/03 09:00 AM
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Posts: 5,911
Exeter, Capital City of devons...
spick Offline
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I'm with you on that one Mandrake, did he forget to write it??


Drink Up Ye Cider.
Re: JOKES: PART 2 [Re: spick] #130114
30/11/03 01:04 PM
30/11/03 01:04 PM
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Draghermosran Offline

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yeah you're supposed to say "no"


It's one of these days...
Re: JOKES: PART 2 [Re: Draghermosran] #130115
30/11/03 03:20 PM
30/11/03 03:20 PM
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Mandrake Offline
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Hehe! Ok! "NO". Is there more to this joke?




I will call you "Squishy", and you will be my squishy! OW! BAD SQUISHY! - Dory, Finding Nemo
Re: JOKES: PART 2 [Re: Mandrake] #130116
02/12/03 11:56 AM
02/12/03 11:56 AM
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 64
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Propheet Offline OP
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eeeer....I think we're getting here... You might or might not have noticed, but(for those chocolate packers and gay-joke lovers) this thread is designed for DIVINITY JOKES. Please refer to page one of this thread, and try to follow the general idea....Is this so much to ask??? Or do you people only know this fat outdated jerk-off* jokes?
no truly big offence meant (I just wanted to offend you slightly)
regs, PROPHEET

PS. Kiya! Your nice and soft humour would be much appreciated here... I saw some of yours at TDHd, why don't you post something but not !@#$%^^ vulgar!?

PPS. The third part of DA JOKES is coming along in a week. It conatins all of the dialogues with NPCs that are (the dialogues, I mean) well, a teensie weensie bit unusual.
-----------------------------
*this word is [no can do] ...




You will have a gun on you; but are not to use it under any circumstances- it's only to strengthen your authority. (EH)
Re: JOKES: PART 2 [Re: Propheet] #130117
06/12/03 08:23 PM
06/12/03 08:23 PM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,911
Exeter, Capital City of devons...
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Exeter, Capital City of devons...
Ooops a daisy


Drink Up Ye Cider.
Re: JOKES: PART 2 [Re: spick] #130118
03/01/04 01:01 AM
03/01/04 01:01 AM
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 64
Halfway to Heaven
Propheet Offline OP
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Due to unfortunate circumstances beyond my will and immunity system I had to step out from the posting; now, after a monthly struggle for health I am back... Thanks to one nice person here, I now have the Morpheus font, to fulfill the promise I gave a long time ago- to make the tweaked dialogues from DD. I am truly sorry, especially, that now this thread moved from the first page, so not everyone remembers that jokes on DD have their thread already;) (meaning the new thread "Did we do jokes already? in chat:anything)
Regs, Propheet®


You will have a gun on you; but are not to use it under any circumstances- it's only to strengthen your authority. (EH)
Re: JOKES: PART 2 [Re: Propheet] #130119
03/01/04 04:18 AM
03/01/04 04:18 AM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 6,899
Somewhere between Here, ..and ...
Jurak Offline
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Somewhere between Here, ..and ...
ummm, .... ....oh uh, ... no, that's not it...


[color:"#33cc3"]Jurak'sRunDownShack!
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Re: JOKES: PART 2 [Re: Draghermosran] #474312
02/10/13 12:05 PM
02/10/13 12:05 PM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,097
Franken
Anthea Offline
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Franken
American journalism 101

First lesson, only use the facts. However you can word tham as you please to make a story.

Example:

Yesterday Meg and I was playing around, her ring bumped me on the skull (sounded wild wink )
I also went to the store, on the way back I saw a police car and waved. He didn't see me though.
Finally the cat was on my lap and slipped, leaving a little scratch on my leg.

Now these do not sound like a story, however using only the facts and arranging them however we want (just like the big news sites), we end up with this.

Yesterday Meg attacked her husband and hit him with her ring. He now has a 2 inch scratch. The police would not respond.

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